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Screamfree parenting- by Hal Edward Runkel

January 17, 2008

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This is the book I have been reading the past few weeks. It has given me a new inside on how to improve on my parenting skills with my kids.

The author talks about instead on focusing your energies on your children you should start by focusing on yourself.

Your wellbeing as a parent – physically and mentally is what you should prioritize before you can concentrate on your child.

Once you are functioning at your optimal level, then you would be able to focus on how to handle the numerous tasks/problems being hurled at you.

Self-respect- Standing by your principles and not giving in to the whining, making empty threats and rescuing your kids from consequences will help in building long term relationships with your kids.

Also not to fall into the trap of parenting through assimilation as kids are individuals and are entitled to their individuality.

Our ultimate goal is to direct our kids into becoming self-directed, decisive and responsible people.

Hal lists the attributes of a self directed person as one who :

  1. He knows and pursues what he wants in life
  2. He gladly seeks counsel from others, but ultimately makes up her own mind.
  3. He demonstrates integrity, a demonstrated consistency of his beliefs, words, and actions.
  4. He holds people accountable for their actions ( including parents) but does not blame others for her own problems.
  5. He does not let others blame him for their problems.
  6. He gladly and quickly takes responsibility for his decisions
  7. He welcomes criticism as feedback, but does not automatically accept it as truth.
  8. He takes care of herself in order to be available to others without needing them to take care of him.

It is a tall order but definitely achievable with lots of patience, consistency and determination.

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One Comment
  1. January 17, 2008 2:38 pm

    Man, this is just what I need. I think I need to drop by the bookstore today. Thanks for the tip.

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